The Hogwart's Singing Duels
by Darlene Evelyn
Summary: Basically a singing competition between houses with guest appearances by our favorite characters. Sorry for the way the words run on. ^_^
1. The Start of the Duels

bAuthor's Note: Hey just made this, since Men In Black 2 came out on July 3rd, and this song has been playing constantly all over the place. I thought I'd make a song a la Harry Potter style. He sings here! Black Robes Stunnin' (Wave Ya Wand) [As opposed to Black Suits Comin (Nod Ya Head)]  
  
Just on another short note in case you're wondering: Aconite contains highly active alkaloids, and is poisonous to both humans and animals. When eaten in small to moderate amounts, it frequently causes death within hours.  
  
b u Part I? As I walked into Hogwart' great hall, during one dinner. Dumbledore announced "Just on a whim....let us have someone volunteer some entertainment, anyone?". Suddenly the candles went out and it was pitch black, everyone was in shock and a sudden murmur spread throughout the hall. The moon was high above, and the stars were twinkling letting an eerie glow in the hall.  
  
Author: Um, what's going on? this wasn't in the program!!  
  
Unknown Voice echoes throughout the hall: It is now....  
  
Torches blasted on in a sudden explosion, and the doors come slamming open in one strong crash. Everyone whirled around to see a shadow in the door and the music started. (Chorus by the way was volunteered by the ghosts and a few elves)  
  
Intro: (Come Come on) (Come on Come Come on) (The Black Robes Stunnin') (The Black Robes Stunnin')  
  
I'm Stunnin'... I'm Stunnin'... I'm Stunnin'... I'm Stunnin' I am the boy in black I'm back Breaking the backs of the random death eaters So can the dark magic Yo I'm dangerous I've been trained to bust When strange wizards fuss try to endanger us Praise me y'all Don't nothing graze me y'all When they see me their gaze be all shocked ya, y'all They say I'm a myth Trust me if somebody jokes Out of the depth of your imagination appears Daniel Radcliffe! Black robes, the black shades, the black shoes black tie with the Gryffindor attitude New style green contacts I'm stunning man [A few fans can be heard screaming in the background] The new hottest wizard in six hundred years! Don't you get the hang of it? What you thought I wouldn't come again? Leave you in suspense without bringing you the thrill again? Tangling with the dark lord's scum again Awesome, it's the boy who lived running in!  
  
Chorus 1: (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you Wave Ya Wand like this! (The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you Wave Ya Wand! like this! (The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you bop your Wand, Wave your Wand, come on! (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you (Wave Ya Wand!The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this (Wave Ya Wand!)  
  
Check it Yo it's this dark lord right Voldemort, making me gag right The world is nothing to him he be evil like Threatening me and my friends Trying to kill me right Thinking he's major evil Or black aconite! finishing whatever you start son The best looking Gryffindor since myself in book one! Better think fast and do magic right and sing along 'Cause Ron and Hermione are back and they're hype What Draco? Bring it on! [Draco sits back down quickly as everyone looks at him] Wanna duel with me? Trying to duel with me? Unh Unh What What Yo... what what... then... lemme... see you just... Come on... just come on and:  
  
Chorus 2: (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you Wave Ya Wand like this! (The Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you Wave Ya Wand like this! (The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you (Wave Ya Wand!) Let me see you (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you (Wave Ya Wand!) Come on! Come on! Let me see you (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you (Wave Ya Wand!)  
  
Check it, Check it Yo, hey! books closed Beat all my foes Chased away by the black robes, wands, and Fawkes. Magic's above the law Voldemort can't touch me y'all Highly spoken of young wizard at Hogwarts! So, Neville, just forget what you think you saw Put that wand down now, Draco [Draco: Who tells him that I'm trying to curse him!] Who you think you foolin' huh? [ Draco grumbles] Just a few little words then good bye there Just keep on fightin' baddie and look out me Thank you, the fight is completed I mean it I won't be defeated You seen it I did it even when my energy was depleted Wizard defenders don't act like you don't know Taking lackeys and proving they only wannabes, whatever Now, wizards and witches, ghosts and elves The boy who lived is back to protect us from hell When the dark enemy is near the boy is here  
  
So have no fear just let me see you  
  
Chorus 3: Wave Ya Wand like this! (the Black Robes Stunnin') Let me see you wave ya wand like this (the Black Robes Stunnin') Come on! (Wave Ya Wand! the Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you (Wave Ya Wand! the Black Robes Stunnin') Like this, let me see you (Wave Ya Wand!) (Wave Ya Wand!) Woo! (Wave Ya Wand! The Black Robes Stunnin') Unh! (Wave Ya Wand!) Yo, yo (Wave Ya Wand!)  
  
Yo, Yo If you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) Tell me if you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) If you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) Come on if you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) Yo if you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) Tell me if you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) If you want to Wave just say (Pot-ter!) Tell me if you want to fight just say (Pot-ter!) Ha!  
  
He looked around and there was a silence unlike any other, we all watched in awe before slowly, applause started and built up to a roar of cheers. Standing ovations from everyone except the Slytherins started, as Harry smiled at everyone and ran back to his seat to eat dinner.  
  
Author suddenly nudges Draco as others applaud Harry: So why dont you try to sing something...maybe you can out do him.  
  
Draco smirks and looks at the crowd, speaking softly....with a plan in mind: Maybe I will......  
  
In case your wondering, it really depends on the response I get whether or not I continue, so cya! 


	2. Slytherin Surprise

Author's note: Well I'm back...and with more. LOL. Hope you're enjoying these as much as I do. Anyway, on to the next one....every one's favorite Slytherin....Draco Malfoy!! Just to let the reader know ahead of time the song being parodied is by Pink and is called Just Like A Pill. And since there is a bit of an insult towards a character don't take it too personally because I like this character too....it's just well...this is Draco!!  
  
Part 2 Well, once again here we were in Hogwart's Great Hall. I had just been enjoying my mug of warm butterbeer and crumpets with the Gryffindors when all of sudden we heard a loud commotion coming from the Slytherin table. Everyone looked over and saw Draco walking to the front of the hall his usual smirk spread across his face as he stood where the sorting hat usually was.  
  
Author: *gasp exhaustedly as she reaches her podium* Alright, here we have the Slytherin everyone loves hate...the one and only: Draco Malfoy!!  
  
[Cheers can be heard from the Slytherin table while the other houses look on in silence]  
  
Author: Ahem, well, yes....anyway the Singing Duel is on...so let's begin!!!!  
  
Draco prepared himself to beat the boy who lived as all of a sudden the music began and the spotlight hit him:  
  
Just Like A Thorn: (He sat on a stool while the song started and the disco lights suddenly came on out of no where) Lying here on the floor where you left me I think I took a punch I'm crying here, what have you done? I thought it would be fun  
  
I can't seem to ever beat you There's a shortage in the charms I can't stand you Harry Potter 'Cause I think you broke my arm I told you about hangin' with the wrong crowd Because Hermione's a little bitch I'll think I'll get out of here  
  
Where I can flee just as fast as I can To the Slytherin common room To the middle of my dormitory  
  
And I swear you're just like a thorn Instead of making me better You make me feel scorn You make me feel scorn  
  
I haven't moved from the spot where you left me It must be a bad spell All of the other spells they were different  
  
Maybe I should call some help  
  
I can't ever seem to beat you There's a shortage in the charms I can't stand you Harry Potter 'Cause I think you broke my arm I told you about hangin' with the wrong crowd Because Hermione's a little bitch I'll think I'll get out of here  
  
Where I can flee just as fast as I can To the Slytherin common To the middle of my dormitory  
  
And I swear you're just like a thorn Instead of making me better You make me feel scorn You make me feel scorn  
  
The music ended and Draco smiled satisfied that he got his message across to whom he considered to be the pathetic version of the muggle story "The Three Musketeers" with that message he bowed and received more cheers from the Slytherin table as the other tables remained in silent shock at the insubordinate attitude the words held.  
  
Author looks shocked: Wow, that was a bit *coughs* deep....I wonder how Hermione will take this? *looks over at Hermione who's fuming* um, guess not too well.  
  
[Author walks over to Hermione] So will Miss Granger accept the challenge presented by Mr.Malfoy?  
  
Hermione looked over at me and looked annoyed and angry as ever: "Of course I will...that snake of Malfoy will regret calling me that!!" With that she sauntered off and disappeared out of the hall.  
  
Author sighs: Well there we have it so far the duels stand as follow: Harry and Draco have earned their houses 20 points each....Harry for being really funny and Draco for just being well, interesting....anyway, Cya all soon....I'm reporting from the Great Hall once again...will Hermione sing? only time will tell. *checks watch* well, we have a lot of time, so hey....we can wait...cya! ^_^ *apparates*  
  
So what do you think? reviews? or not.....you decide! 


	3. Musical Payback

Author's note: Hey again, here is the next installment of the Hogwart's Singing Duels....next up, out favorite Gryffindor bookworm...the very cool...Hermione Granger!! Parodying the song "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne. Hope you've been enjoying yourselves...anyway, just a quick note: no profit is being made with this, this is a just a work of fun and that's it really.  
  
Part 3 Author: So hey we're back live from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry....I'm you're host "The Author"....so far as you may know we've had two duels....Harry and Draco, but unfortunately due to the fact that Draco really insulted Hermione, we've had a change of plans....  
  
The atmosphere is now relaxed and everyone is settling in with dessert and more butterbeer, mmmmmm....ahem, well...the stars are shining above us on the ceiling and it looks to be a beautiful night with a lovely crescent moon. Harry and Ron appear to be looking for someone [author walks over] "Who are you looking for?"  
  
Ron is the first to reply "Hermione, she's been gone since that prick of a Slytherin insulted her....have you seen her?"  
  
Author: I saw her leave some where, she looked angry...but I'm sure once she gets over it she'll.... Hermione came sauntering into the great hall much to the shock of everybody else, including me....she was dressed in muggle teen skater clothes!  
  
Harry's eyes were wide as he looked at Ron and I for an explanation but we shook our heads and shrugged. "Probably part of the song she's doing for the duel"  
  
Ron looked flabbergasted "Hermione....is going...to sing?"  
  
Author nods: I guess so, she said something about getting the pric--I mean Draco, back for what he sung about her.  
  
Harry and Ron look at one another then at me "Are you encouraging everyone to do this?"  
  
Author looks shocked, but her eyes say otherwise "I'm just an announcer....oh look the song started...bye!" Author runs to her podium. "I really need to get a bullhorn...anyway....from Gryffindor we have Miss. Hermione Granger!!!"  
  
[Everyone cheers except Slytherin]  
  
Hermione smiles and lets the music flow as it begins as she slowly bounces to the beat and dances slightly.  
  
"Orchestrated":  
  
Oh yeah, life's like this  
  
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is  
  
Cause life's like this  
  
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is  
  
Draco whatcha dissin' for?  
  
Lay back it's all been said before  
  
And if you could only let it be you will see  
  
I hate you the way you are  
  
When I'm walkin' down the hall  
  
and you're yelling to me all the insults you can think  
  
Some kinda snob, is that like your job?  
  
But you're watching your back like you can't relax  
  
You're tryin' to be cool but you look like a fool to me  
  
Tell me  
  
Why you have to go and make things so orchestrated?  
  
See the way you're acting like you're someone important gets me frustrated  
  
Life's like this  
  
And you fall and you drawl, you're a snake and you take what you get and you turn it into snobbery  
  
and promise yourself you're never gonna find you faked it  
  
no no no  
  
You walk over unannounced  
  
dressed up like you're someone's special doll  
  
where you are and where it's sad you see  
  
you're making me  
  
laugh when you try to strike your pose  
  
pull off the little mask of yours  
  
you know you're not fooling anyone  
  
when you've become  
  
Some kinda snob, is that like your job?  
  
You're watching your back, like you can't relax  
  
You're trying to be cool but you look like a fool to me  
  
Tell me  
  
Why you have to go and make things so orchestrated?  
  
See the way you're acting like you're someone important gets me frustrated  
  
Life's like this  
  
and You fall and you drawl, you're a snake and you take what you get and you turn it into snobbery  
  
promise yourself you're never gonna find you faked it  
  
no no no  
  
Draco whatcha dissin' for?  
  
Lay back, it's all been said before  
  
And if you could only let it be  
  
You will see  
  
Some kinda snob, is that like your job?  
  
You're watching your back, like you can't relax  
  
You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me  
  
Tell me  
  
Why you have to go and make things so orchestrated?  
  
See the way you're acting like you're someone important gets me frustrated  
  
Life's like this  
  
and You fall and you drawl, you're a snake and you take what you get and you turn it into snobbery  
  
promise yourself you're never gonna find you faked it  
  
no no no  
  
Why you have to go and make things so orchestrated?  
  
See the way you're acting like you're someone important gets me frustrated  
  
Life's like this you  
  
You fall and you drawl, you're a snake and you take what you get and you turn it into snobbery  
  
promise yourself you're never gonna find you faked it  
  
God, you're odd.....  
  
Everyone (except of course all of Slytherin who is fuming at the slapdown) including Headmaster Dumbledore give Hermione a standing ovation, cheering loudly as she walks to her seat confidently. Even the ghosts are applauding, as she bows and waves to everyone. Daisies come swirling down from the ceiling like beautiful confetti and she catches a bunch and takes her seat.  
  
Author: That was by far the coolest bit of the duels...another 20 points for Gryffindor!....so we have, Harry as being the funniest, Draco as being the most interesting, and Hermione as the coolest...hell ya, things are just getting better and better!! Rock on Gryffindor!! So who's next?  
  
Everyone looks around at one another uneasily. Author: "Oh come on now,fine, I'll choose.....hmmm, how about....Ron Weasley!!"  
  
"What?!" Ron shouts in shock.  
  
"Oh come on Ron....you'll do fine....go on now and decide what song you're gonna sing"  
  
Ron winces and gets up and leaves.  
  
Author: "Kay, so there you have it, Ron Weasley is goin' up next....cya later... over and out!"  
  
  
  
Hope you enjoyed this new bit of my singing duels....reviews appreciated but not mandatory...and if you'd like in the reviews leave me ideas for what songs and what characters I can continue with, I have ideas...but other suggestions are very welcome ^_^ 


	4. Third's (refer to the song) a Charm

Author's note: Back from a few days of a good rest, but now I'm back for the rest of the Hogwart's Singing Duels! Thanks to the peeps who reviewed. Now up next is another Gryffindor....let's all take a look, shall we? ^_^ Eek, hold it...before I forget to say....no profit is being made with this parody. Thank you. ^_^  
  
Part 4 Author/Host: Well here we are, reporting from Hogwarts with some more exciting challenges! We were last blown away by Hermione's song and now it's another Gryffindor's turn! The score is Gryffindor 40 to Slytherin's 20 (cheers can be heard from Gryffindor and Boo's from Slytherin). And Ron Weasley is up....with *looks at her papers* 'Trio'. Ron's wizarding version of the muggle song, "Video" by muggle singer India.Arie. *Smiles* Good choice.  
  
George: Oy, so do you think our little brother will be any good?  
  
Author: Sure he will....why do you ask?  
  
Fred: Because our parents and brothers are here.  
  
Author is a bit surprised: Oh...wait, you told them! but you know that Ron doesn't like being in front of people! (I don't know this for sure, I made it up ^_^).  
  
Fred and George: Like you're any different, putting him up there.  
  
Author pauses to think and then replies: Point taken.  
  
We all joined the hall as it fell quiet when Ron stepped up to the front as the music started: 'Trio'. Sometimes I feel like hittin' Draco but sometimes I can't Sometimes I can only glare but sometimes I comment Depending on how my mood feels I might even hex his hair [Draco's quickly covers his head w/ a hood] It really just depends on whatever sounds good in my mind  
  
I'm not the average guy from the trio And I ain't built like a quidditch captain But I learned to deal with Malfoy, frustratingly Because he's such a baby [Draco turns red, as everyone except those in Slytherin stifle a laugh] I'm not the average guy from the trio My friendship is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I'm wearing I will always be Ron Weasley  
  
When I look at my reflection and the only one there is me Every freckle on my face is where it's suppose to be And I know my mum made no mistakes raising me [Author: Awwww, that is so sweet!] My mum, my dad, my sis, my bros, we're all a family.  
  
I'm not the average guy from the trio And I ain't built like a quidditch captain But I learned to deal with Malfoy, frustratingly Because he's such a baby [Draco is about to have a conniption] I'm not the average guy from the trio My friendship is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I'm wearing I will always be Ron Weasley  
  
Am I less of a guy if I don't where fancy clothes My mum said a guy isn't what he wears but what he knows. But I've put an end to story, it's all unfounded glory Snobbery's the name of the game An annoying comment, a drawling insult, Someone deserves some pain [He glares daggers at Draco, who suddenly feels uneasy]  
  
Don't be offended Malfoy, this is all an opinion But nothing that I'm saying is forced This is a true admission Of a class learned lesson That I decided to share with you So stay in where you fit in Go on and smile Clear your soul Now's the time Put your curses on the shelf Go on and love yourself 'Cause everything's gonna be alright [Draco hears the sarcasm in Ron's voice and shrinks a bit]  
  
I'm not the average guy from the trio And I ain't built like a quidditch captain But I learned to deal with Malfoy, frustratingly Because he's such a baby [Draco: I resent that!] I'm not the average guy from the trio My friendship is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I'm wearing I will always be Ron Weasley  
  
Keep your fancy robes, and your expensive brooms We don't need that to have a fun time Keep your expensive cars and your large manor All that I need are my friends  
  
Tell your mum and your dad We'd rather have a modest group of friends Don't need all your money, we prefer humility What the gods gave us is just fine.  
  
I'm not the average guy from the trio And I ain't built like a quidditch captain But I learned to deal with Malfoy, frustratingly Because he's such a baby [Draco: Stop calling me that!!!] I'm not the average guy from the trio My friendship is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I'm wearing I will always be Ron Weasley  
  
Again cheers rose up and as the applause was on Ron saw his parents and brothers Bill and Charlie, he walked over and they all congratulated him, Mrs. Weasley in tears as she hugged him and he blushed. Harry and Hermione were really happy as they cheered and applauded for the Third Musketeer as were all others. Draco could be heard in the background angrily: "He called me a baby! I am not a baby!".  
  
Author: Woooo, that was awesome!! Another 20 points for Gryffinfor putting the score at 60 to 20....things are not looking good for Slytherin....this is a first come, first serve thing after all, so order and volunteering is essential if they want points! * Looks over at everyone* Okay so who wants to go next?!!  
  
A loud commotion started as every talked amongst themselves trying to decide who would go next. Meanwhile the author looked up at the ceiling and saw that it was already going to be dawn. And a sunny day at that, not a cloud in the sky, perfect lighting for the rest of the duels. Author: So who's going up?  
  
Oliver Wood stood up: Well, since there's no Quidditch practice today...I'll go up.  
  
Author is dumbstruck: Oliver, it's, Ollie.....Wood, Gryffindor quidditch captain....cute...handsome, wow, uh....*snaps out of her gawking and drooling* ahem, that's really great!  
  
Oliver smiled kindly: Alright then, I'll be right back.  
  
Author melts in a daze as she watches him leave: So there we have it.......Oliver Wood is.....up.....next. *smiles and murmurs* yay.  
  
So that's, that. Upcoming in our next installment is the handsome Gryffindor Quidditch fanatic we know as Oliver Wood. Again reviews appreciated but not mandatory. And if you guys gave any suggestions...I'm open for anything. So, cya all later!! *apparates* 


	5. The Cutest Gryffindor ^_^

Author's note: The song I decided to choose for the next part in the singing duels is "Rock DJ by Robbie Williams". Parodied as "Stop Quidditch" by Oliver Wood (don't take the title literally though....lol, you have to read to know exactly what's happening).  
  
Very quick note:the 'backhand' Oliver mentions in the song, is a Sports term for a stroke or motion, as of a racket, made with the back of the hand facing outward and the arm moving forward. A pass or shot in hockey made with the back of the blade of the stick. To perform, catch, or hit with a backhand. Take it as a quidditch term for when a chaser throws a quaffle to the goal, but a keeper blocks it...or something like that....lol ^_^  
  
Part 5 Author: Hello, back to the duels.....I'm so giddy right now, it's not even funny!! lol why? you may ask....because, well, Gryffindor's hottest guy Oliver Wood is up for the next song! *squeals joyously* yay!!!  
  
(Most of the guys groan and roll their eyes in annoyance and the girls giggle, squirm, and squeal in excitement)  
  
Author: *straightening out* ahem, so, anyway it's morning and classes have been cancelled for today or as long as it takes for all of this, good thing because we have so many other duels to get through!! (everyone looks at the author in uneasy shock) oh don't look at me like that, you know it's fun!  
  
Draco saunters up and drawls: It's fun for you...you're the only one who's not doing one.  
  
Author glares: Excuse me? But I'm the author, I don't HAVE to do one...YOU on the other hand, Malfoy, look like you can do a 2nd one. What should it be this time? hmmm....I can go for 'N Sync at the moment....how about you?  
  
Draco's eyes go wide and swiftly he runs away:Um, no that's okay! Nevermind! Do what ever you want!  
  
Author smirks: Heh heh heh  
  
A group of girls starts to scream and cheer ecstatically and the momentum builds as the doors close, no one's there however. Everyone looks at one another questioningly and then shrugs, possibly the girls were just talking about something other than who we're expecting.  
  
Suddenly a low rumble could be heard from the front of the Great Hall, right smack in the middle where the sorting hat stool usually was located. As everyone looked on in curious wonder murmuring as they looked on, a hooded figure slowly emerged from the ground in an elevator like rise. Smoke and mist swirling on the floor to make it look like the figure was amongst the clouds and fog of a valley. With the sun shining softly with the dawn, the effect was surreal...the dawning rays as the sun rose with a fiery entrance created another world entirely. The music started softly at that moment getting louder by the moment and before we could blink, the figure threw off the hooded cape and there was Oliver in his quidditch uniform looking stunning and much more handsome than ever.  
  
All the girls screamed and cheered and a few even fainted much to the dismay of the guys around them. But Oliver just grinned sheepishly and strutted forward and as he did....the music got louder.  
  
"Stop Quidditch" Me, I'm a captain Kickin' at your backhand Gryffindor kicks ass And Slytherin's discontented Girls, wave your hands if you're not with the man Can I date you? (girls: yes you can!) I got (looks) You got (style) We got everybody I've got the quaffle Gonna block it from the goal It's time to move your body  
  
Gryffindor's always winnin' Can I get a witness Every girl, every guy Everyone do you hear me Referee can you feel me Need permission to land  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game, is all my life.  
  
Plannin' in the classes Matches for your masses You don't date me No backstage passes Have a proper giggle I'll be quite polite But when I play the game I play the game (right)  
  
You feel no love then you're playin' the wrong game It's time to move your body If you can't get a girl but your best friend can It's time to play the right game  
  
I don't wanna sound easy Girls just tease me Got no family planned Everyone do you hear me Referee can you feel me Need permission to land  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life.  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life  
  
Being captain ain't easy Most of the team thinks of me As being a nut  
  
Being captain ain't easy But if you're winnin' games It's alright Come on!  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life.  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life.  
  
I don't wanna stop, quidditch Because it makes me feel so good Hope you never stop, quidditch 'Cause this game is all my life  
  
He yells and waves: Gryffindor rocks!!!  
  
Everyone cheers and all the girls run to ambush him screaming and desperately trying to get a piece of him as they fight amongst themselves as well. Swiftly he takes off running: "Oh no not again!! Girls please, I'm only one guy! No, oh god, help!" He ran out of the Great Hall and yelled "Hey author, would you like to go to the Yuletide Ball with me?"  
  
The Author freezes as the horde of girls slightly pause and look like a pack of hungry, angry tigers glaring daggers at her, author shakes her head in dismay: Oh dear....Um, I'll tell you later!!!  
  
Part of the horde runs after Oliver and suddenly the other half turns on the author screaming fiercely like wild Amazon's: "Oliver is ours!!".  
  
Author gasps fearfully: "Oh no." And takes off running quickly, looking back at the others who are looking on in shock, Draco however smirking as he watches the scene. The Author looks back: "I'll be right back!!" And as she disappears out the door the name she states causes everyone to freeze as it echoes throughout the hall ominously. "Voldemort is next!!".  
  
Everyone gasps, Neville runs out of the room, and well.....Harry faints.  
  
Well that was the 5th installment of the Hogwart's Singing Duels. Now coming up next *rumble of thunder and flashes of lightning can be heard and seen* Voldemort.....the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, the dreaded....okay, okay, I'm over that....anyway...I'm off to my lair to continue my dark magic: Muahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Now, on a lighter note I'm catching up on thank you's to the following reviewers: Calyr Mastra (SaphireRHapsody@hotmail.com): Glad you liked it!! Oliver, god, he's such a cutie!! *drools* whoa, nevermind, but Oliver....god, hehehe.  
  
Sasery: You got your wish!! Voldemort is next!! and nope there is no other word for Draco's duel! except,well, interesting. So hey, thanx!!!  
  
crazyme89: I loved your idea that you suggested and I'm working on it. So it'll be up soon enough. Thanks!  
  
JestaAriadne: Thanks for reviewing!! Yes, Hermione was a riot, wasn't she? and Draco's, oh god. Snape, Voldemort, and Neville are all coming up....plus others too!  
  
Vixen: Apology accepted and I just read yours: "Kerioke Night". It was really cool!! And thanks for reviewing!  
  
Twilight: Thanks!! Appreciate the review!! Keep reading, as many more characters will be up with much more interesting subjects in their songs!  
  
sapphire613: Thanks and Malfoy, oh god, Malfoy was a rather unique one, wasn't he.  
  
steph1: Much more to come! With rather interesting results and responses for all of them, hehehe! 


	6. Chaos,Dark Lords,and Comedy

Authors note: In reply to a reviewer's request, I decided to make Voldemort's duel song by Weezer. It's a parody of "Hash Pipe" and it's called "Death Eaters". I was bursting out laughing while I wrote this and I hope you do to. It was really fun writing it and well, I had a lot Starbuck's coffee to thank for the words and length....lol. No profit is being made with this, Starbucks or otherwise...^_^  
  
Part 6 Running back into the Great Hall after having lost the immense horde of jealous women who decided to try and hurt the author (namely me...lol) out in Forbidden Forest, because Oliver Wood decided it the right time to ask the author to go the YuleTide ball with him. The Author made it back safely back to her haven, and none too soon. As she walked in, everyone screamed and aimed their wands defensively in her direction causing her to freeze where she stood and scream as well in horror. When they all realized she posed absolutely no danger, they all sighed and stopped aiming their wands at her paralyzed form and went back to their breakfast nervously.  
  
Walking to her seat. Author to Ron: I take it no one is taking the fact that Voldemort will be singing too lightly, are they?  
  
Ron: Would you not say that name?! It's You Know Who.  
  
Author: A name never killed anyone.  
  
Ron glares: You Know Who's name is feared, you know that right?  
  
Author: Yeah, I know that....I've read the books.  
  
Ron: Books?  
  
Author sighs: Nevermind...long story.  
  
Author and Ron look over anxiously at Harry who is just dazedly waking up from his fainting spell earlier, thanks to Hermione's quick research on how to get him up. Hermione hands him a glass of iced Pumpkin Juice which he takes and gulps down in a hurry much to all of our surprises.  
  
Harry rubs his forehead: What happened?  
  
Author, Ron, Hemione in unison: You fainted.  
  
Author: When I mentioned who was up next for the singing duels....I guess I won't even repeat who it was that was next.  
  
Hermione: Voldemort.  
  
Ron nervously looks around and then hisses angrily: Don't say that name!!  
  
Hermione and the Author roll their eyes and shake their heads in dismary, saying drolly in unision: Whatever.  
  
Harry stands up: Excuse me? but how is it that-- (Looks at Ron for a moment)--how is that Voldemort gets to sing? here in Hogwarts of all places...how can he get in?  
  
Author: Oh, well now that you ask...he can get in because the Ministry's Center for Permission of Evil Dark Lords to Sing at Schools for the Mere Pleasure of Entertainment let him do it under the condition that he doesn't hurt you at all and just wait until book 5, because there are aurors watching from the shadows and all that good stuff to protect you now. Plus Dumbledore and everyone else from the Order of the Phoenix is here to protect you as well. So don't worry.  
  
The three Gryffindors look at the author with wide eyes: Oh.  
  
Author gets up and starts to walk away, saying: Anyway, I'm off to announce.... (stops and turns to say) and Harry?  
  
Harry: Yes, author?  
  
Author: Take and seat and relax...this one should be rather a one of a kind.  
  
Walking away author takes out wand saying as she does: Sonorus! Thus making her voice carry over the entire hall in a loud announcement as she then declares: "Up next! The Dark Lord....the main evil of the series, the one everyone really dislikes and wishes was dead..."  
  
McGonagall: Ahem  
  
Author: Oops...sorry Professor got carried away....(McGonagall nods and looks at her condesendingly, then walks away). Okay, well, where was I? oh yes, the leader of the evil wizards whom we know merely as Death Eaters...the one and hopefully the only...Lord Voldemort!!  
  
Everyone (except those in Slytherin who cheer) scream in terror, but when they try to get up to run...they're glued to their seats. Issuing even more screams from everyone...as author looks on calmly, waving wand: Quietus!!.  
  
The sounds suddenly cease and she smiles: Okay...now back to normal...Originalus! Everyone remains in shock as they look around in terror.  
  
Author sighs in relief and then announces ^_^: Now, let us all welcome...the next song in duels, shall we?  
  
Everyone nods then applauds and the doors come flying open in a thunderous crash (Author wonders: how the heck can those doors withstand all the slamming they're taking? note to self: no more slamming doors or we're liable to fix them). There stands Voldemort, with Peter Pettigrew, Nagini, and a few other death eaters in mysterious, shrouded hooded capes. An ominous silence falls over the hall and the author and few other students see Harry rubbing his forehead in pain as Ron and Hermione hand him some chamomile tea and crumpets to calm him down.  
  
Voldemort and the others almost seem to glide to the center where the duels take place. And as they turn to face the audience, which instinctively gasp, they reach to pull something out of their capes...everyone screams bloody murder again, but quickly stops as they see that it's not wands they're reaching for, but rather electric guitars, keyboard, and a drum set.  
  
Voldemort: This song is to Harry...since unfortunately I can't dispose of him now(he looks ominously with his glittering, serpent red eyes over at Harry who swiftly ducks behind Hermione and Ron).  
  
"Death Eaters" I can't help my instincts, I'll go out of my mind These aurors come to get me, try to kick my behind (Host :Damn! he heard the plan) I can't love my title if I can't kill a kid Down in Godric's Hollow where I got beat by a kid  
  
Oh, come on and let me (electric guitars (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Oh, come on and let me Come on and let me You've got your issues (Death eaters in background: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry gasp: What?!!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Hermione and Ron look nervously at one another) I've got death eaters  
  
I love to use my powers 'cause they get out of control (Draco snickers) I know that you don't care but I want you to know Saying the killing curse is a favorite sweet (Everyone else shudders) Of wizards that can't bother with the taste of defeat  
  
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Harry: I do not!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry: No Way!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Ron and Hermione gulp nervously) I've got death eaters  
  
I've got death eaters  
  
(instrumentals, Voldemort is playing electric guitar expertly while the death eaters do as well, with drum set and keyboard. Author: whoa that's really cool)  
  
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends I've got death eaters (instruments)  
  
I've got death eaters (instrumentals) I've got death eaters  
  
Song ends and they all smash their guitars and instruments, sending sparks everywhere in a huge series of explosions.  
  
Author is excited: Damn, that was really good!!!  
  
Harry,Ron,and Hermione nod quietly.  
  
Hermione: You have to give him credit you know, he was really good.  
  
Author nods: Ya, 20 points to Slytherin for that one...and 20 points to Gryffindor for Oliver's since I did forget to add them on and all. So the score is 80 to 40.  
  
Voldemort suddenly appears behind the author in a dark, threatening shadow: Ahem, madam...I do think I deserve more credit than just a measley 20 points.  
  
Author turns and sees the wands pointed threateningly at her by the death eaters, thinks: Shoot I really forgot to mention to add protection for the author, damnit.  
  
Voldemort hisses threateningly: In fact I think I deserve another 20 points.  
  
Author looks frightened: Um, but that would be cheating and well, 20 plus the 20 points you would originally get would be 40 points for one performance *laughs nervously* I really don't think that would be fair and all.  
  
Voldemort leans forward: I do....or do we need to convince you another way? (he points at the wands the death eaters hold)  
  
Author: No! I mean, okay sure...why not add more? another 20 points added on will be perfectly fine by me...I see no problem to that! 20 more, for 40 extra points to Slytherin. That ties the duels 80 to 80.  
  
Voldemort nods: Good...very good, well we're off...and we'll be keeping a close eye on you, I'm leaving a few of my followers to keep you under control...when necessary.  
  
Author shivers: Um...alright....you...do that.  
  
As the dark lord leaves, Gryffindors and Slytherin's glare at one another. The fight is on.  
  
Author: Right, well, next on the duels....anyone up for it?  
  
Neville suddenly stood up, blushing: Um....uh....well, I....I think....I think I can do one next.  
  
Author smiles kindly: That's wonderful! Thanks Neville! for volunteering and all.  
  
Neville nods and walks out of the hall as everyone looks and murmurs in awe of the shy, forgetful boy.  
  
Author: Neville is next! What more of an adorable lad could we ask for?! ^_^ Good for him, we'll see what song he'll do to bring back Gryffindor into the lead!! (Thinks: I just hope he doesn't forget his lines! ^_^)  
  
Reply to review to: Chopstix are of no use here: Hoped you like the song I did by Weezer for Voldemort!! I honestly loved the suggestion you made...since I am a huge Weezer fan myself and Hash Pipe is my all time favorite song by them! Again hope you like and laugh...cya! 


	7. The Rabbit and the Dragon

Authors note: Well here it is, Finally!!! Part 7 of the Hogwarts Singing Duels! Sorry it took so long, I am in school (College Freshman to be precise) so I've been buried underneath a lot of work and still am to be honest, so be patient with me please ^_^ I managed to get this part done today....so cya!! (By the way if you guys have suggestions for songs, let me know on the review board, thanks!). The next one is a parody of Robbie William's "Millenium". No profit is being made with this story. ^_^  
  
Part 7 Author: Hello everyone, after a bit of an intermission we're back with the Hogwarts Singing Duels! (everyone cheers) as of now the score is 80-80 Gryffindor and Slytherin. This match is looking good!  
  
George: Neville is coming up! let's just hope the poor lad doesn't forget any of his song....that would be awful for us Gryffindors!  
  
Author sighs: Tell me about it....but he'll be good I'm sure of it.  
  
Fred steps up: You're sure of everything, you do know that?  
  
Author freezes a bit: Um, well, yeah....I guess I am....it's good to be positive.  
  
Fred and George in unison: With Neville?  
  
Author: Yes, with Neville.  
  
The tables are up for a light snack and so we'll wait for Neville. (Author wonders: Where is Neville anyway?.) Taking a seat the author puts her head down on the table.  
  
Ron leans over: Hey do you want some of the Droobles Best Blowing Gum that I have?  
  
Author looks up and nods: Alright, I guess I could use some gum...Thank you.  
  
Ron nods and smiles: Don't mention it.  
  
While waiting Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and the author fill the room with bluebell-colored bubbles from the bubble gum that apparently Ron says refuses to pop for days. It was a sight to behold watching them float up into the air and hover over head like hanging blue crystals.  
  
Author chewing a mouth full of gum: Wull---wuere-- ish--Nuvulle?  
  
The doors creek open and everyone turns to see Neville looking at them silently. There is a pause and the Gryffindors and others cheer. Author turns to the Slytherin table to see them smirking evilly. (Wondering nervously: Oh please, please don't try to make him make a mistake). Draco seems to notice the nervous look in the authors eyes and sneers.  
  
Author watches as Neville nervously makes his way up to the 'stage' in front of the teachers table. *Loud clatter of noise and rumaging* I need to find my spare wand....where is it?! *searching* okay here it is....in case I need it.  
  
*Taking the one in hand and setting aside the spare* Announcing: Well now we have it! Neville Longbottom! Another one for the Gryffindors! (Gryffindor table cheers loudly).  
  
Draco walks over to author: So, thinking of deducting a few points from Gryffindor now that Longbottom's up?  
  
Author glares: Malfoy the only thing I feel like deducting is your head...it's too bloated for your own good.  
  
"Ooooooooooh" comes the mocking from Gryffindor as Draco becomes red faced. The author smirks: or maybe I'll deduct a few points from Slytherin for your big mouth.  
  
Gryffindor laughs while Draco suddenly tenses but then relaxes and sneers confidently: Voldemort wouldn't like that...he'd have you finished off right here and now.  
  
Author bites her tongue thinking: Goddamnit, little prick...I'll get you yet. *speaking thru gritted teeth* Go sit down Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy smirks and satisfactorily saunters away. Author closes her eyes and calms down announcing again: Alright, so as I was saying...a big round of applause for Neville Longbottom!! *cheers rise up that drown out the sneers*  
  
Neville smiles nervously as the music starts. Author cheers loudly over her wand: Yaaaaa!!Go on Neville you can do it!!! (everyone looks at the author for a pause and then cheers on as the music gets a little louder and starts)  
  
Neville: Alright then....um, here goes nothing....  
  
"Gryffindor" We've got Snape taking points away Always in Potions he seems too irate Gryffindor  
  
Some say that I'm forgetful [Draco: You're more than that. Author hisses: Draco be quiet!] Some say that I am withdrawn But I've been making magic Since the day that I was born Got to slow down 'cause I'm stressed out Fly around in circles [Draco smirks: Now that was funny! Author gets more angry] Live a life of solitude Till I find myself a best friend someone to Relate to Then I'll prove to Malfoy [Draco: Excuse me?!] That I'm really cool  
  
We've got Snape taking points away [Author looks to Snape and sees him tense] And we're praying it's not too much 'Cause he think's we're falling grace Gryffindor  
  
Live for all the howlers The ones that scream at me Staying here for Christmas Hoping there will be a gift My friends are not so typical They refuse to follow rules [Everyone looks at Harry,Ron, and Hermione who blush] But I enjoy their insanity 'Cause I know they're going to save the world [All of Gryffindor table: Ya!!]  
  
We've got Snape taking points away And we're praying it's not too much 'Cause he thinks we're falling from grace [Snape shakes his head as he puts his head down] Gryffindor Come Draco and have a go if you think you are tough alone [Draco tries to stand but is hit with a petrification spell] Come Draco and have a go if you think you are tough alone [Author smirks, hiding her wand: hehe...I always did love that spell] Gryffindor Gryffindor We've got Snape taking points away And we're praying it's not too much 'Cause he thinks we're falling from grace Gryffindor [Sounds like mumbling] And when he takes points, he always takes too much [Draco gets up with the ennervate spell] I often think that he just likes Draco [Draco becomes red: What?!!] Stand up and see the fearlessness in my eyes  
  
And when he takes points, he always takes too much I often think that just likes Draco [Draco takes out his wand to curse him, as he notices that everyone is laughing hysterically: I'll show you.] [Author shakes her head: Uh huh sure...lighten up, will you.... rictusempra! *spell hits Draco causing him to laugh hysterically as he's tickled uncontrollably] Get up and see the fearlessness in my eyes!  
  
We've got Snape taking points away Gryffindor And we're praying it's not too late Gryffindor 'Cause he thinks we're falling from grace Gryffindor  
  
As the music dies down and he ends his song he sees that everyone in the crowd, even the Slytherins are in shock at the fact that he remembered all of his song without any mistake!  
  
Author stops in her tracks before she hits Draco with a spell just for kicks: Wow...that was....good.  
  
Everyone is cheering all except those in Slytherin who are looking at Draco in shock as he rolls on the floor laughing like a lunatic.  
  
Author: Well that was awesome!! another 20 points for Gryffindor, bringing the score to 100 points for Gryffindor and 80 to Slytherin. Now come on Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw...you guys have got to have someone who wants to come up and participate!  
  
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables look at one another uneasily. Author: Hmm, ok okay...shyness can be quite an obstacle....but still, alright...I choose Cedric Diggory to come up for the next one!.  
  
All at the Ravenclaw table sigh in relief as they watch Cedric stand up and smile shyly. Cedric: Well, alright, I guess it couldn't hurt to sing something.  
  
Author: That's the spirit. There you have it folks, Cedric Diggory of Hufflepuff will be up next for the exciting continuation of the Hogwarts Singing Duels.  
  
*insane laughter can be heard in the backgroud* Author grimaces: and hopefully by then I can figure out a reversing spell for taking Draco off tickling charm. Cya then. ^_^ 


	8. A Burning Flame

Authors note: Well here it is, good freakin god!! At long last, Part 8 of the Hogwarts Singing Duels! Sorry it took so damn long, I've been in school so I've been drowning under a lot of schoolwork and still am to be honest, so be very patient with me please ^_^ I managed to get this part done today since I'm not in school or at work....so cya!! (By the way if you guys have suggestions for any songs again, let me know on the review board, thanks!).  
  
The next one is a parody of Shakira's "Objection (Tango)" and it is titled "Rejection (Fiasco)". No profit is being made with this stuff. ^_^  
  
Part 8 Author steps through the Hogwarts entrance, smiling: Hello everyone, after a very long vacation and all....I just have to say....phew! So, alright I'm back...finally! geez I've been so busy in the states with school and my job and all that I haven't even had time to come back to Hogwarts for the rest of the singing duels!  
  
Ron walks up with a bright smile: Well now you're here....so where do we begin?  
  
Author smiles: I thought you didn't like doing this singing duel stuff, Ron.  
  
Ron looks at her in mock shock, then he shakes his head: Well, I've been thinking it over and I actually do like them quite a bit. Nice job, by the way on the haircut.  
  
Author blushes: Thanks. Well, lets see. * shuffles papers about* the score is Gryffindor's 100 to Slytherin's at 80. Cedric has some writer's block for his song so I received an owl from Ginny asking if she could be next, so I let her.  
  
Ron looks stunned: Ginny? in the singing duel?  
  
Author arches an eyebrow: Ya, why not?  
  
Harry and Hermione suddenly walked up with there school books in hand saving Ron his answer.  
  
Harry asked: Did I hear correctly? Ginny is the next person to sing in the singing duel?  
  
Hermione beams: That's wonderful! I wonder what song she's going to be doing. I bet you it'll be something sweet, along the lines of Michelle Branch or someone like that.  
  
Both Ron and Harry: Who?  
  
Author and Hermione, roll there eyes: Nevermind.  
  
Everyone was just arriving at the Great Hall for dinner, so there was a lot of pushing and shoving going on before everyone finally got settled into their seats. All except for one person.  
  
Author looks around and then asks uneasily: Um oh no, the last time I left, Draco was in a fit of laughter due to a spell I hit him with and then I left and never came back to try and fix it since then!! where's Draco? *freaking out suddenly* oh my god, did he die?!!!  
  
Ron shakes his head and sighs: Don't I wish  
  
Hermione looks at him in horror as she gasps: Ron!! how can you possibly say that?! * she then looks at the author* Professor Snape had him sent to St Mungos for a while and then he returned a few weeks ago. It was a pretty difficult spell to break but they finally managed to break it.  
  
Author sighs: Thank god. That would have been horrible had something happened to him.  
  
Ron: Are you kidding? that would have been the best to happen in a long time! *Hermione glares* alright, I'll be quiet.  
  
Author's eyes go wide: Good thing you chose to be, Professor Snape is coming this way too.  
  
The trio and Author slowly look towards the incoming dark caped professor who had the look of a trained assassin spread across his face. For each step he took, we took two back.  
  
Snape: You! you're just the person I've been looking forward to see all this time.  
  
Author nervously: Me? but why? I have done nothing wrong.  
  
Snape: Is that so? I could have you expelled from Hogwarts grounds for what you pulled off the last time you were here.  
  
Author: That was just a joke, professor. That's all, really! I swear!  
  
Snape sneers.  
  
Suddenly though all the lights flash off, and all one can see is the night sky above through the enchanted ceiling. There's a murmur going on in the crowd. Author: This would be the time to book it to the mike. *runs*  
  
A spotlight appears on the author, directing the attention to her: Hey everyone! Long time no see, I'm sure you know what time it is now again! Now that all of you have had a break from me and vice versa, it's time to get dueling!  
  
Everyone suddenly cheers. Author: Whoa, I didn't expect that! cool, now we'll be having more volunteers then! Unfortunately I'm sure you've heard that Cedric has a very bad case of writer's block...so he won't be singing tonight girls.  
  
Girls can be heard crying and sadly saying: Ooooooo maaaaaaan  
  
Author: Not to worry though, we do have a volunteer for the next one to take his place...from Gryffindor... it'll be Ginny Weasley!  
  
Percy suddenly walks up to the author: How did you ever get her into this?!  
  
Author: I didn't, she volunteered on her own.  
  
Percy: Wait til the ministry hears about the way you trick people. * Author looks at him in shock* I'm sure you're dabbling into the Dark Arts to get people to do what you tell them to.  
  
Author shakes her head: Percy it's all voluntary really, no one is FORCED to do anything.  
  
Percy: Oh is that so? I've got my eye on you, you just watch...I'll eventually catch you doing something.  
  
Author sighs: Go sit down.  
  
Percy: Is that all you have to say?  
  
Author: Yes that is all, so just go sit down.  
  
Percy shrugs: Okay * walks away and takes a seat at Gryffindor table*  
  
Author sighs and pulls out her wand to look at it with a playful smile, saying softly: Did I force him to go sit down? I think not! * looks back at the audience who has grown very silent since Percy had walked up to the author* OH! So as I was saying, before I was interrupted and all...Ginny Weasley! Let's have a big round of applause! * runs of the stage*  
  
The Great Hall goes pitch black again as the students and professors applause.  
  
Spanish tango music can be heard playing and suddenly everyone saw a ghostly couple dancing in the darkness to the rhythm of the hypnotic music. Just as it, it is about to pause. There is a great blast of electronic guitar, piano, accordion, regular guitar and violin.  
  
And Ginny appears dressed in a short (but not too short!!) black skirt, knee high,tight black leather boots, and a v neck sleeveless blouse and a black choker. Looking a total rock star.  
  
Rejection (Fiasco) It's not her fault that she's oh so beautiful [She points at Cho, a spotlight lands on her and she tries to duck down] But all the jealousy caused is so painful Every thirty seconds you say her name [points at Harry who looks shocked] But when it comes to mine you don't care! [Ron: Ginny!!!] If I'm alive or dead, it such a  
  
Chorus: Rejection! I don't want to be an exception To get a bit of your attention My love is for free and I'm not asking for much But you don't get the hunch [Draco suddenly appears and smirks: That's Potter for you! Harry glares at him.] Rejection I'm tired of this fiasco Got dizzy trying quidditch I'm falling apart at the seams again Rescue me, You've got to rescue me!  
  
Next to her cheap looks and all I look very small [ Cho: My looks aren't cheap! what the hell is that about?!] That's why in front of your eyes I'm nothing at all [Harry shakes his head, groaning and looking frustratingly tired] But you've got to know other girls do count You better get yourself off of your cloud And see what I'm about, so [Everyone: Ooooooooo]  
  
Chorus (with a slight change) Rejection! I don't want to be an exception To get a bit of your attention [Harry looks sickly green: First the Valentine....now this] My love is for free and I'm not asking for much But you don't get the hunch [Draco: I'll go out with you Ginny! pick me! Ron looks murderous: Malfoy!] Rejection! Got caught in the tangle of this fiasco Got caught up inside your eyes [Hermione sighs: I like your eyes too Harry Harry looks away: Ohhhh noooo] I'm falling apart at the seams again No way, no no no noooo.  
  
I wish there was a chance for You and I [Harry gulps] I wish you could find us A place up high Away from here....(she smirks: alone) [George, Fred, Percy, and Ron angrily: What the--? Ginny!!]  
  
This may sound [Ginny rolls her eyes and walks down the steps and to the middle of the Great Hall towards Harry] So obsessive Full of fury And psychotic Should I worry? Harry rescued me From a diary [Harry nods as he backs up: At least she remembers that] So I can try to Be grateful [Harry: Thank you] Or sing in a duel [Harry nods: That would be nice] But I still love you Harry [Ron runs to Harry saying: Oh no] I still love you Harry! [Ron grabs Harry, and drags him out of Ginny's way as Harry shouts in shock: What?!!]  
  
Suddenly Ginny jumps onto the Gryffindor table, takes out an electric guitar out of nowhere and starts playing it like a professional. Percy suddenly faints at this sight as Ron, Harry, Hermione, the author, and everyone else look on in silent surprise.  
  
Chorus: Rejection! I don't want to be an exception To get a bit of your attention My love is for free and I'm not asking for much [Cho:Take him already!you can keep him! Harry looks at her: Since when do you own me!] But you don't get the hunch Rejection I'm tired of this fiasco [Draco: I'll take you to the Yuletide Ball, Ginny! Ron gets up: Over my dead body!] Got dizzy trying quidditch I'm falling apart at the seams again No way You've got to rescue me! [Harry walks over and swiftly grabs Draco and shoves him towards the stage: You're the hero now]  
  
Rescue me Rescue me Ya! Ya! Ya! Rescue meeeee! oh yaaaaaa oh yaaaa oh yaaaaa [Draco: No, you do it! Harry: Why do I always have to do it?] oh yaaaaaa oh yaaaa oh yaaaaa [Draco: Because you''re the hero and I'm a villain Harry: Then trade places with me!] I'm falling apart at the seams again Help meeeeee! [Percy sits up with a furious look on his face: Wait til mum hears about this!] I'm falling apart at the seams again Rescue me!! Rescue me!!!  
  
An immense applause and cheers erupted from the crowd as Ginny looked on with a bright smile on her face, as she bowed and waved to everyone happily before running off stage. Percy was trying to be calmed down by George and Fred, as Ron was just stunned with a look of sheer amazement on his face.  
  
Author: My god!!! That was, just, just....so....I mean, beyond....terrific, amazing, shockingly....--  
  
Harry: Great?  
  
Author whirls around and says ecstatically: Yeah!! That's it! Great! It was great! It was fantastic! Damn! Ginny rocks!!  
  
Harry blushes: At my expense.  
  
Author: It's okay Harry, at least your house gets points! It was so cool I plan on giving your house fifty points!!  
  
Gryffindor table cheers happily.  
  
Draco runs over to the Author, glaring daggers: What?!! that makes the score 150 to 80! You can't be serious!  
  
Author: Draco, your house needs to start particpating then. That's the only way to get points.  
  
Draco smirks: What about Voldemort?  
  
Author sneers catching Draco off guard: The Ministry has protection for me now, since I am a foreigner after all...heh heh heh heh. I'm immune to Voldemort's charms....so HA!!  
  
Draco becomes tense: Fine! So if you want someone from Slytherin, then, why don't you pick?  
  
Author smirks and takes out her wand, reciting the spell for a loud announcement: Good idea, Draco....So who better than the Head of Slytherin, I pick Professor Severus Snape to be next in the duels!  
  
Everyone in the Great Hall suddenly looks at Professor Snape who is sitting at his usual spot and who has become paler than normal.  
  
Professor Dumbledore looks to him and gives him a triumphant smile: Severus I believe the young girl has commanded that you sing for us all.  
  
Snape in confusion turned to him:Professor, you can't possibly be seri-  
  
Dumbledore: She is a guest, Severus...you are excused from teaching for the time being. Go on, choose a song and then come back with the results for us.  
  
Snape glares at the Author who smiles innocently. Without another word, Professor Snape stood and with one last dark look torwards the author, turned and with a sweep of his long cape left through the door behind the teacher's table. The door slamming behind him ominously.  
  
Author turns to the students: Well, um, there you have it! Professor Snape is next...and the score is 150 to 80. I'm off for some much needed shut eye...buh bye now! * apparates* 


	9. Bitter Potions

Authors note: Well FINALLY here it is, good god!! After more than a year, Part 9 of the Hogwarts Singing Duels! Sorry it took so freakin' long, I've been in school and have had a lot of personal issues to deal with and still kinda do, so be very patient with me please I managed to get this part done today since I'm not in school or anything....so cya!! (By the way if you have suggestions for any songs once again, let me know on the review board, thanks!).

The next one is a parody of Evanescence "Everybody's Fool" and it is titled "Life Isn't Fair" and it is done by Professor Snape. No profit is being made with this.

Part 9

Stepping through the Great Hall doors, the author sighs "My god, so long, I've been away for so long. Walking in she sees Professor Dumbledore and quickly approached him. Professor Dumbledore! oh my god, it is so good to see you again!"

Dumbledore turns and smiles "Good afternoon, child, I never thought I would see you again. And might I say, so changed as you are now".

Author smiles shyly "Well life will do that to you...I left with Professor Snape as the next duelist...is he prepared? or did he just completely ignore me?" author pauses "Though I wouldn't blame him because I really never did come back to continue".

The professor shakes his head "Of course not, he is prepared...I always had the feeling that you would return...and now you're here....everyone will be pleased".

Author grins "I hope..."

About an hour later, the Great Hall was packed with students, as classes were let out earlier for this impromptu event. The author spotting the trio quickly ran over to them.

"Hey! oh my god, you three have changed so much!".

Hermione and author hug, before shaking Harry and Ron's hands and giving them a hug as well.

Ron shook his head "I never thought we'd see you again"

"Well here I am".

"It's great that you came back, I was looking forward to seeing Snape sing in the duels...that ought to be quite a sight!" . Hermione laughed.

"I'm hoping my arrival won't come as a shock".

Harry grinned and laughed nervously "If anything, Snape will probably want to assign double work for us just because of it"

The author shook her head "I don't think he will, with Dumbledore observing the duel and all...I don't believe Snape would really think of suddenly throwing all this work at you.

The trio nodded.

"Why don't we go take a seat?" Harry offered.

"Let's go" Ron replied. "I don't think I'd miss this duel for the world".

Walking over, the trio took a seat, all except the author who remained standing as she looked around.

"What? what is it?" Hermione asked curiously.

Author looked at her then around the Great Hall "Um, I assume Draco hasn't been expelled has he?"

Ron shook his head "Don't I wish, no, he hasn't...god, I wish he had he sighed With the news that youOre here he'll probably show up with his lackey's again...god knows he thinks that he's royalty or something".

Author smirked "Tell me about it, I'm going up to announce...I'll be back shortly".

"See you later" Harry says.

"Alright, see you then"

The author walked over to a podium that was set up and checked to see if everything was set, "Everything seems in order". she murmured as she kneeled down to get her wand from her messenger bag.

A presence beside her however made her look up to find Draco looking at her, a sneer on his face as he eyed her. "Well, I see the foreigner decided to come back to Hogwarts"

The author stood, realizing that Draco had grown quite a bit and his voice was much deeper than before. "My god what a difference a year makes" the author thought "Even his hair has changed". It had a more ruffled look to it, all in all he had gotten to being quite handsome.

"Malfoy" the author replied "Yes, I did decide to come back...I couldn't very well leave the duels hanging the way I did".

"I hope you're prepared for Slytherin to win".

The author smiled kindly "Whoever wins is up to who volunteers...so tell your fellow Slytherin's to start doing so".

"You're looks are the only thing that has changed, you do know that?" he smirked "Your ridiculous patronizing hasn't".

The author glared "Oh is that so? well your looks are the only thing that have changed as well...your incredibly big ego however hasn't changed one bit, that and your ability to annoy the hell out of people" the author smiled sourly "Now, I have to announce the next duelist...so just remember that volunteering is what counts...not sheer arrogance".

He scowled "We'll see...". And with that he turned and walked back to the Slytherin table.

Author takes a deep breath, thinking "Handsome, but with an ego that is bigger than the world itself". Looking up she smiled then and tapped her wand "Sonorous"....before announcing. "Hello everyone! It' great to see all of you again, how are you?!"

Everyone cheered.

"Great! It's good to see that you're all well...I know it has taken me awhile to come back, but I promise that I will be here more often than before so we can get the duels running at full force! So is everyone ready!".

Cheers emanated from the hall, as the students cheered.

"Alright! so we left off with Professor Snape as the next duelist, and the score of 150 Gryffindor to 80 for Slytherin...now come on Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff...we need volunteers from your houses too! don't make me start picking people!".

Just then the great hall doors slam open, catching the attention of everyone in the hall.

"I seriously have to make it a rule, not to do that!" the author thinks. "Geez"

Almost gliding in it seemed, was Professor Snape. Dressed in his trademark black, billowing cape behind him as he stormed towards the author who had realized the hall had gone silent.

"I am not your personal toy, you little foreign brat...I will not tolerate you trying to control what I will or will not do...do you understand me?". he hissed.

Author gulped as she nervously spoke "Yes, sir...but I do believe that Dumbledore agreed to this arrangement and he said it would be alright for you to do the duel...after all, I am only a guest...so etiquette states that you must 'entertain' the guest" catching his darkening gaze "But I could be wrong"

"Severus--".

The author and Professor Snape look back to find Dumbledore and the other teachers eyeing him with looks of 'What Do you Think YouOre Doing?'.

"Albus, I cannot believe that you would agree to..."

Dumbledore frowned "Severus I gave you time to prepare for this and told you that after that you could come back with the results for us". he signalled him to stand in the stage area. "I do hope you will not disappoint us, or our guest for that matter".

Snape gave the author a piercing look before walking over an waiting for the cue.

Author turns to the students, her smile back "Without further adieu, I give you, Professor Snape!".

Slytherin table cheers as the other tables look on silently. The hall goes dark the only light coming from the sunset, giving the hall a dim but beautiful look to it.

The author quickly takes a seat between Ron and Oliver who smiles at her, making her blush. The music catches all their attentions however as it begins, and Professor Snape appears, shrouded in the shadows as the suns rays illuminate the rest of the area, with shades of gold, red orange, and violet .

With one last glare at the author, he starts:

"Life Isn't Fair"

Oppressive by nature

I come from darker nightmares

It's just what Potter needs [Harry looks taken aback]

Les-sons about a world that

Isn't fair and never will be

I don't care what you think of me

You think that you can break all the rules [Draco smirks at the trio as they look at one another uneasily]

Look there he comes now

Potter and all his followers [Gryffindor table has gone a bit red at this]

Oh how they love you [Harry looks down to avoid the stares]

The Boy Who Lived, is there no ending?

but now I know life

Isn't fair and never will be [Ron: The slimy git, I can't believe he-]

I don't care what you think of me

You think that you can break all the rules

While in my class where will you hide? [Harry glares at Snape]

Just like your father, lost in your pride [Harry: Don't bring my father into this! He tries to get up only to be stopped by Ron and Seamus]

You know the truth now

I know who you are [Draco and the other Slytherin's are gloating now]

and I can't stand you anymore [Harry: Wait, til I get my hands on you...you lying... Author: Harry....don't say it. Harry sulks]

Life isn't fair and never will be

Fate's a bitch, but why pun-ish me?

All you are is my eternal misery

An immense applause and cheers erupted from the Slytherin table, as he bowed before walking off stage. Harry was trying to be calmed down by his fellow Gryffindor's as the author frowned and walked away to make her announcement.

Author: That was, a rather dark duel....to say the least. So Slytherin gets 20 points

Slytherin table cheers.

Draco runs over to the Author: You can't be serious! You gave Weasley's sister 50 points!

Author: Fine, so you want me to add a few points then? I'll make it 30 instead of 20, I'm not going any higher because I don't want to encourage duelist to practically tear people apart on stage

Draco smirked "Oh please"

Author turns to crowd "So, I know I will probably get beaten for this afterwards...but instead of 20, I'm upping the score to 30 points, that makes the current standing 150 to 110"

Cries of protest can be heard throughout the hall.

The author sighs "This is the ONLY time I will do this any more...ALL duels from now on are going to be 20 points each, 5 points extra for creativity and 5 points if you do a stand out performance....and lets try not to insult on another alright?"

Murmurs can be heard.

"You can earn 30 points...only if you do exceptionally well...how is that?".

Everyone nods and agrees, "Alright then....so who wants to be next?"

Everyone in the Great Hall suddenly looks one another, two hands quickly shoot up from Gryffindor table, much everyone else's relief.

Author looks over "Fred and George Weasley! everyone give them a big round of applause...they're next for the duels!".

Everyone cheers ecstatically as the twins approach the author, "So now that we volunteered, any ideas for songs?". George asked.

Author nods "Actually, I have a few..".she looks through her bag, pulling some sheets of paper out "Look them over and see which ones are to your liking...you don't have to pick one of these though".

Fred ruffles the authors hair playfully "We trust you, now the question would be...do you trust us?"

The author nods "I trust you....good luck".

The twins nod and walk out of the Great Hall to prepare as the author takes her wand and announces "Now that we have that set, I'll be taking a break to go to Hogsmeade, I need sugar...so cya later!"

With that, the author gets on her broom and flies out of Hogwarts and away.


End file.
